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Bonus Post - What's in the Arm Hole?

A Caution Sign. On the left, an icon of a hand being caught in machinery. On the right, text reading: "CAUTION Please don't put your hands in." "Don't" has been crossed out with red pen.

Holes have a long and storied tradition within the OSR. From the humble pit trap, to the grandaddy of A-Holes, our founding father E. Gary Gygax himself, we are no strangers to holes around here. Moreover, today marks the International Day of the Hole - the birthday of Stanley Yelnats. Happy Hole-idays indeed!

In recognition, a number of blogs in the OSR sphere will be posting hole-related content. No doubt you'll see our individual efforts in your online wanderings. While you're here, please whet your appetite and wrap your laughing holes around our collective effort.

A dismantled lego arm on a red splatter.
Caution: disassembly may void warranty

What's In The Arm Hole?

By Zak H., elmcat, Markus, Liz & Ty. Guest contributions by Town Scrier & DrCuriousVII.

  1. A severed hand. Save DEX or you're next. Snick.
  2. A hand, shaking yours. On withdrawing your arm, you are holding a contract with your name signed at the bottom.
  3. A tuft, then a tail. Tugging it alerts the lion sentries in the next room.
  4. Your hand is replaced with the hand of the previous investigator. Roll a d6:
    1. A crabbed elderly hand wearing a signet ring worth 100GP.
    2. A master thief's hand. Raise DEX by 1. Your fingerprints will get you arrested.
    3. A muscular hand bearing an owlbear tattoo, which bestows membership to the BearOwl Brawlers. Raise STR by 1.
    4. A robot arm.
    5. A hand with an itchy mole on the thumb.
    6. A ghostly hand. It can only touch other ghosts.
  5. Resistant slime. Pushing through stains your arm blue. At the back of the armhole, a gem. (Stained folk are marked as thieves by the dungeon's occupants.)
  6. An arm wrestling match. Save STR or your arm will be broken in several places. Winning the match gives you immense street cred with the people living in the wall.
  7. Funnelweb spider. You are now poisoned, better get some antivenom.
  8. Monkey Curse! Your fingers become frozen -- completely immobile -- until you've made five wishes. With each wish, one of your fingers slowly crawls upward.
  9. A hand awaits your arrival. Master the secret handshake, and a hidden door will reveal its secrets.
  10. There's a switch. If you pull it, the floor opens below you, revealing a pit trap.
  11. A ring is placed on your finger. You are now married.
  12. Your arm appears on the opposite side of the room behind you. Can you tap on your own shoulder?
  13. A baton is passed to you. It is now up to you to continue the relay.
  14. Handcuffs snap and trap your arm. Enjoy your stay.
  15. The Holy Grail! Unfortunately it doesn't fit through the hole.
  16. The hole is empty, but the gigantic statue in the room moves its arm in perfect imitation of yours.
  17. A glass jar containing coins. Leave a coin: a secret door opens, revealing a lively tavern. Steal a coin: a loud klaxon sounds until the coin is returned.
  18. Leftover cheese. Take it and you make a little mouse family very sad.
  19. A little note. It's a crude drawing of yourself signed with the letter E.
  20. Finger hole.
  21. A dial. It advances:
    1. The time of day
    2. Your age
    3. A random stat by one point
    4. The radius of your torchlight.
  22. The Spring-Loaded Skroog. A juvenile-minded wizard's crossbreeding of viper and pufferfish. If disturbed, pops out of the hole, inflates its head, and acts much like the classic boxing glove prank. Great value to conservationists if it can be coaxed out.
  23. 2d10 silver coins, no catch. Score!
  24. Manipulates a puppet on the other side of the wall in a village puppet show.
  25. A thick, soft tongue, licking and slurping hungrily. If provided with food, a wet voice will betray secrets of the dungeon. The fancier the food, the deeper the secrets.
  26. A light switch.
  27. A tiny pocket universe. Cradled in your palm, entirely at your mercy. Squeeze it and be overwhelmed by remorse, or leave it untouched and feel an irrevocable certainty that, one day, unimaginable consequences will unfold.
  28. A nail salon. Finally get the treatment your hand deserves!
  29. Bees!
  30. It feels creamy. It's a birthday cake.
  31. So cold inside it hurts. An L-shaped cavity, the bend at elbow depth. Curving your arm around, you can feel an enormous gemstone at your fingertips. If you're quick you can withdraw the gem before your arm freezes solid within the wall.
  32. Honey! (The bees must be out.)
  33. Empty, but your hand now smells faintly bad. It's hard to stop sniffing it.
  34. At the end is a scalding hot metal plate. If you touch it for too long, you are branded with a map of the dungeon
  35. A book that needs flipping through. It is recorded and will be shown in every settlement you enter.
  36. An inkpad with a collectible shrine stamp. There's one in every dungeon!
  37. A roundish muscle, pulsing and warm. Within your own chest, you feel fingers wrap themselves around your heart.
  38. Rope, which continues spooling out endlessly. Any portion cut from the end transforms into a constricting serpent with 1HD per 20 ft in length
  39. A long armhole. You need to stretch as much as possible but you can reach the end! Now you are the arm of John Malkovich.
  40. Itty bitty piano keyboard. Won't you play us something nice?
  41. A handle. When pulled, the room abruptly rotates 90 degrees. You are now dangling from the ceiling .
  42. A cherished trinket you lost a long time ago.
  43. Valuable, intricate copper rod of office, but touching it to the walls of the arm hole during removal gives a potent electric shock. Ever played "operation"?
  44. A vampire. Your arm is held in an iron grip, while teeth plunge into an exposed vein. Your blood will be drained completely in one minute (two if your inner elbow is inaccessible).
  45. A puppy. Tan, with brown patches. Breathing gently while she sleeps.
  46. Inserting your arm into the hole makes the sound of a slide whistle.
  47. A handle that slides on a 6-foot-long track. Your arm lengthens or contracts to the depth you leave the handle.
  48. A huge charge of static electricity. Your hair stands straight out. Will discharge with a loud, painful shock the next time you touch another person.
  49. Lightning!!!
  50. A very large slug. Gross.
  51. A lot of very small slugs. Still gross.
  52. One very small slug. Don't be mean to slugs ):
  53. A lever. If you pull it, the party will hear a cacophony of party horns and party poppers, as an unreasonably large amount of balloons and confetti falls from the ceiling. It is one of the adventurers' birthday.
  54. Fungi. Gain a rash that sprouts dimly luminescent fungi when exposed to moisture. It itches.
  55. A plug attached to a long chain. Pull it, and the chamber will slowly fill with water.
  56. A button. While pressed, a finger-guillotine descends slowly (10 seconds until snick), and every door in the dungeon swings open. Releasing the button slowly resets the guillotine and the doors.
  57. The smell of her hair.
  58. The smell of her hair, burnt.
  59. A mold casting. Make perfect replicas of your arm.
  60. The Creation of Adam and your arm is the missing the piece.
  61. A firm handshake. You've just made a deal.
  62. Dry ice.
  63. The thumb wrestling champion. Can you beat them?
  64. A faerie manicurist. Your fingernails are quickly painted with vibrant colors and glow in the dark.
  65. A black hole. The rest of your body is sucked up.
  66. A firm handshake, with a hidden novelty buzzer. You've been owned.
  67. A gazillion soft feathers. Can you withstand the tickling?
  68. A wedding ring. Congratulations! You can hear your new husband crashing through the dungeon walls to give you a kiss on the lips.
  69. A teenager. You're now a member of the Pen 15 club. Nice.
  70. A bowl full of eyebaaaaaalls. Oooh, spooky!
  71. A magical plastic surgeon. One of your face features, eyes, nose, mouth, or ears are now on your hand.
  72. A palm reader with a really really really soft voice. You'd have to stick your ear right up to the hole to hear your future...
  73. A coffee dispenser. Careful, it's hot!
  74. A sock puppet. You have to entertain the children behind the wall.
  75. An unbreakable metal orb. Too big to be pulled out of the hole. As long as you're palming it, nothing can harm you.
  76. A tiny mallet aimed directly at your funnybone.
  77. A glass orb. Too big to be pulled out of the hole. If you palm it, you see a horrible vision of your death. Automatically succeed at your next save.
  78. A set of golden knuckle dusters with your name embossed on them.
  79. A flesh orb. Too big to be pulled out of the hole. Squeeze and someone in the room dies.
  80. Another flesh orb. Too big to be pulled out of the hole and possibly attached to something? If you palm it, the entire dungeon erupts into (very loud) giggles.
  81. A pair of scissors, a sheet of paper, and a rock. Choose wisely.
  82. Carved into the wall, a spell written in braille.
  83. A matryoshka style doll that's a perfect replica of you with your arm in a hole. If you pull the doll's arm out of the hole it's holding a smaller doll with their hand in a hole, and so on.
  84. Flesh dissolving acid. Only the skeleton remains.
  85. Skeleton dissolving acid. Only the flesh remains.
  86. The Safe Arm-Detacher (S.A.D.) 5000MX. Cleanly detaches your arm and stores it until you lean your shoulder against it again.
  87. The Safe Arm-Detacher (S.A.D.) 5000MX, but there's already an arm loaded in it.
  88. A hoard of acorns. 3-in-6 chance an angry squirrel scampers up your sleeve.
  89. A big nostril.
  90. A big hairy nostril.
  91. A small rectangle of cloth tape. It can only be removed by sticking it to another patch of living human skin.
  92. You find a scroll for a random spell.
  93. That greatest of all treasures - true, everlasting love.
  94. A random spell charge. Your arm tingles with arcane energy. The spell is cast at the next target you point at.
  95. Something breaks your index finger. That'll teach you not stick your arm in someone's arm hole.
  96. Your hand becomes encased in a large pointing foam hand. It is fused to your skin, so it cannot be safely removed.
  97. An old iPhone, 14% battery left. It's locked, the pin is 1234. It is full of pictures of cats and has a working installation of Flappy Bird.
  98. Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?
  99. A soft membrane. If punctured, it will start to ooze egg, both white and yolk, until it floods the dungeon.
  100. A whole arm.